Again, a Twi-hard's Thoughts which Could Be Mine!

The fact that these books are about vampires does not interest me. I have been on Amazon and have spent hours in the bookstores looking for something to read. Nothing holds my interest anymore. Booksellers keep recommending other vampire series---nope. I am currently reading some suggestions I found on this site, not working. It's got to be Meyer's writing style. I didn't necessarily identify with Bella (too much drama), but I certainly wanted to hang out with her and the rest of Forks. I really wanted to be Angela, but have more nerve to really get to know her. I want that "high" I felt from meeting Edward, Port Angeles, the meadow, hearing Bella's stream of consciousness as she analyzed every nuance of her experience, etc. I have struggled for weeks now to explain to myself, my husband and my family why I am lurking around the Twilight Universe. I can't. I swore I would never be an internet addict---Ha! I lurked for 2 or 3 weeks, then my husband caught me registering (and gave me a raised eyebrow and crooked smile). I even explained in my registration e-mail that I would not be likely to post, and here I am posting. It is the educational psychologist's fault for calling me out to explain my addiction. My latest explanation to myself in that I must be having a mid-life crisis. I cannot quit these books---they are "my brand of heroin." I gave my copies to my mother in hopes that she would read them and join me in my insanity (I also thought she could hold them hostage so that I might re-join reality.) I catch myself picking up the copies that circulate through my library and reading my favorite parts as the books wait for the next person on the hold list to come claim their reward for patience. I am also guilting of asking students where they are in the book as I catch them reading----I think they are starting to suspect my insanity. I don't know anymore. I hope that August 2nd will somehow put my obsession to rest. I saw somewhere that Ms. Meyer had said the characters had moved on in her mind. I hope that in Breaking Dawn she will be able to do that for us; otherwise, I may need counseling.