lately.

Lately I have been trying to find a few old mission friends.  This is due to the overwhelming stack of photos and memoriablia that I am working hard to scan and digitize.  Most of it isn't mission, but some of it is...and those are happy memories for me. (For the most part.)

Lately I have been fretting over some bridal photos I took at a poor location.

Lately I have been working on doign up some Graduation Annoucnements.  Eeee!

As of late, I realize taht when I am in the car alone, which isn't often, I like to listen to a few certain songs, and I like my music loud.  And I sing along.  I guess I haven't outgrown all my youth-like habits.

Lately, I feel like I have a hard time keeping up with the kids' messes.  Seriously I mop about 3 times a day.  It's got to stop eventually, right?  Like when we are all dead??!!

Lately, I can't get over the idea of eliminating debt.  I am slightly freaked out over how much medical debt we have, and we barely have had anything worth mentioning!  The kids have run through the following: Croop, Bronchitis, Swine Flu, Pink Eye, Stomach bugs, unknown causes of fevers and nose issues, had two in the hosptial for unknown bowel system shutdowns, and ear infection, not to mention some serious dental work on Landon...I just want to scream.  There goes the tax return.  Okay, well not all of it, but really.  There goes the money.

Lately, I just smile at the thought of celebrating 10 year of marriage on a cruise or somewhere far away from Idaho...Granted it's not for another year and 3 weeks.  But the planning has begun.

And lastly, I am not sure where I stand on the idea of adding one more baby to this family.  I know I do not want to be pregnant again.  I feel like some days, we are a complete family, and other days we aren't.  I struggle with the idea of adding another girl to the mix, and not getting a son like we'd like to have.  I know I have said several times to many people, "ONE MORE.  Just one more is the plan. "  Living in my ward, I worry that by saying that out loud I might get 2, 3, or 4 more in ONE pregnancy!  (You should know that we have like 12 or 13 sets of multiples, one of which is a set of triplets.  Seriously, there is something in the water here.)  I know I didn't celebrate this past pregnancy with the finality of it in mind.  I didn't live like and am not living like Brooklyn was or is my last pregnancy/baby.  That would be a silly reason to have another baby, but my point is, I was planning on one more, and now, I am just not sure.  This is the first time I feel like we are going to have to really pray about it.  It means a lot in regards to our finances and a car.  We would not fit in the vehicle we have.  We aren't wanting a new vehicle with a nice new payment, especially since the Durango is paid off.  We can afford another baby, but that also means taking on some new payments to Aflac and with our current medical bills, that just isn't a peachy thought.  And lastly, timing is everything too.  I do not want a caboose baby, that comes 3-4 years later.  And the dawn of that window of the two year gap is quickly upon us.  I like that my kids are all 2 years apart.   I don't think it's any more stressful or harder than if they were farther apart.  It's gonna be tough no matter what age they are or how far apart they are.  I just know that if we are adding one more, I would like it to land within that 2 year mark window.  And I am not sure we are up to doing just that.  And with all that said, I would have another baby in a heartbeat, today even if I knew I could skip out on the pregnant part of it.

I need to go watch LOST now.  Change my mood and thoughts to something less emotional and real.