It's too hard to watch Grandpa Dean in the hostpital. It was pulling on my emotions so much, and I am partially proud that I was able to hold the tears back as he talked about how we have no idea how much pain the Savior went thorugh. One of the procedures Grandpa had done he said was so incredibly painful, and they had to do it twice becasue the first one was unsucessful. I just couldn't tear up infront of everyone. My pride pushing the tears to the back, until now.
It was heartbreaking.
We don't know how much time he has left, and that's hard too.
He has Farmer's Lung Disease, which is basically suffocating him. But other issues are now creeping up and he is having heart trouble, and it's downright terrible. He is mental sound and can carry on a conversation, but you can see the fear and sadness in his eyes. Which makes it all that much more difficult.
I've been cutting his hair for years now, like 10, and he asked me to come to his house this past week to cut his hair. Usually he comes to me, but with his oxygen tank he just couldn't.
And I didn't go. I wasn't trying not to go, I just had a few other things going on (valid things to, like running Cate into the Ortho for an emergency, grocery shopping, studio appt for music for the Road Show, etc) and the days got by me.
And I am sitting here thinking, WHY DIDN'T I GO???
The thought it going to eat me alive.
Comments
I don't know any of my extended family so I don't know what it's like to have grandparents.
But my kids do, and they love them. So I can imagine just a little what it might feel like.
I'll be thinking of you!
kyle
I had no idea about Grandpa Dean, maybe you can still cut his hair at the hospital??? Just an idea. Hang in there.